I feel I'm spending this summer in as good a way as it needs to be spent. Just relax and take it as it comes. That's the right way. I always enjoy a bright blue sunny sky and warmth and green grass. Still don't know anyone in the neighborhood but the place is good to me. I absorb it and it's a part of me forever.

I've been reading up on Western paintings of past centuries. I've been into classic art since I was a boy. I love contemplating fantastic uplifting realism. There's never enough time for one painting. I have an emotional need to surround myself with this stuff; the stuff of my European ancestors. Anything to make me feel; to make me love. Of course I like pretty young women even more, the ones right out of the old movies. I watch Judy Garland or Bette Davis act brilliantly in a comedy, drama or musical of Hollywood's Golden Age. It's a slice of another life it is. Then in a dark moment when I'm alone I picture one of them and have them spend time with me and touch me: hug me, kiss me, and pat me on the back. And whisper to me as well through shimmering murmurings. Oh I do well with that sort of company I do. Pray continue, I need it badly.

I want badly to talk more with mom and dad but it's so hard. I dread it. Nothing to say and so scared of it. I'm 23 and in complete awe of my parents. I can listen to them and like it and the renovations they've been doing with the house are fascinating for a curious lad such as me. The slightest change to my environment makes everything seem so much more open and exciting.