Had an incredibly fulfilling day today. It was a struggle but I managed to get to sleep at a reasonable hour the night before. I'm currently tackling my sleep problems head on. Got up bright and early and headed out to do job sampling for Vocational Rehabilitation Services. I was stationed in a computer lab, in some office building, and worked at entering info from business cards into a computer data bank. And, simply put, I did GREAT. I did the job with energy, precision and satisfaction. My supervisor Stephanie Davis was even more impressed with myself than I was. It was such bliss to have someone of her status impressed with me and the job I had done. But even better than that was the knowledge that I possessed a genuine talent for something that was in demand, something that could support me financially, something that others depended on and required me to perform and afterwards bask in the satisfaction of a job well done. I'm an office administrative assistant now but more importantly I can say I'm an adult. I am proud.

I was struck with my ability to stay awake, for one, and to fixate on the task at hand with no real trouble. I have the ability to go on autopilot while reading and typing and my mind wanders far and wide while I complete my work. Furthermore the act of doing a job I enjoy brings all sorts of different parts of myself to the surface. I began to realize how much I rejoiced in my masculine sense of self-confidence and how much I loved the dreamy summer. Being in that computer/office environment reminded me of my youth wandering around the campus of St. Micheal's in Burlington, Vermont in the summers of the early to mid 1990s. My mom and dad both worked there at one point and sometimes I was there for summer camp and other times just to tag along. The grown-up environment of mysterious classrooms and corridors and nooks and crannies and self-serve cafeterias with pizza and ice cream, and student lounges to play card games in (how grown up I felt!) and sunny lawns and shade under trees... I loved all of it. How much did I really learn about other people? Was I just looking for a backdrop for my imaginary "Alice in Wonderland" and "Peter Pan" games? Perhaps. But I did enjoy myself and we grow up you know.